your desperate writings
your posts have resonated with readers - been somewhat popular - because the writing was raw, vulnerable, honest. you can even spin the occasional reckless metaphor.
you've picked up a few subscribers.
but your writing is suffering. it’s desperate and it shows - not just in how often you check the numbers, but in the way your heart keeps leaning outward, looking for something.
you rush through your morning coffee to check last night’s stats. refresh, reload, hope. low numbers kick you in the gut - you doubt.
you feel you’re not connecting - especially with yourself. the writing becomes even more desperate with every refresh, the passion fading.
there's a book that made you fall in love with reading again - if on a winter's night a traveller. written in second person. uncomfortable at first, but it made you feel alive, that what you loved still mattered, even if only to you.
writing like this now is uncomfortable for you too, but it's helping you to gently connect with your inner voice and your love for writing.
you'll keep writing like this for a while. not just to connect with others, but to connect with yourself.
maybe one day you’ll write in first or third person again. but not now. not until your voice is steady and clear, like it was when you last loved it.
for now, you write to hear yourself again.
and if others hear you too, your voice will be all the stronger - you’ll remember how to love yourself, and let others in.