taurine didn’t fix me - it exposed me
last night i went to moon island – a stark place full of memories and regret. a silent walk along the salt lake, wind biting my chest, to the tiny island where i was happy with míriam.
i’ve been so emotionally open these past five weeks, and being there hit me harder than i expected. the intensity left me in physical pain – i had to pull over driving home.
as i recovered from a recent injury (the catalyst for my whole exploration of not being a prick), i started experimenting with chatgpt, trying to understand why i was also feeling psychologically better.
after a few days of back-and-forth - mixing research papers on opioid use (i was on them for the pain) with loose theories on trauma - i found something that felt like a key: taurine.
most people know it as the stuff in red bull. i used to slam those, years ago in my corporate job.
not wanting the sugar or caffeine now, i found taurine powder instead - 2g per day, split into two doses. and yep, i immediately started feeling even better.
i’m sharing this in case it helps someone. but also as a heads-up: if you’ve been emotionally closed off for a long time, finally feeling again might hit harder than you expect.
especially in places like moon island.
(just to make sense of it all, i sketched this out in chatgpt. i wanted the comfort of knowing i wasn't alone in my disconnect…)
