ownership in meditation
breathe in, breathe out. focus on the breath. if focus wanders, gently bring it back.
most of us know the fundamentals of guided meditation: choose an ever-present object - usually the breath - to centre attention.
early on, i had this hissing sound in my head with each inhale and exhale, like i was nine again swooshing a lightsaber. my breath never felt truly my own, so i treated it like it needed that exaggerated sound, even if only i heard it.
that extends to all senses: hearing, touch, smell. i never felt i owned them. when the cat crunched its biscuits as i sat in silence, it felt like an annoyance - why couldn’t the cat wait? i didn’t grasp that the sound became mine the moment it reached my eardrum.
that’s the thing about being a prick: we don’t take ownership. someone feels bad - how is that my problem? someone wants to share their day - i ignore, “what do you want for dinner? i’m hungry.”
these reflections reveal the paradox of making others feel worse while i felt bad myself.
i hope that by truly owning my senses - literally noticing each breath, each sound - I can become more present and responsible towards those i care about.