modest mouse and westerly sunrises
i was bored the moment i got up this morning, before the kettle even whistled.
the cat waited for breakfast while the water boiled; my mind spun slowly, waiting to pounce on anything to distract from the quiet.
it hadn't occurred to me these mornings to listen to music, so i scrolled through what i had and settled on something chill - modest mouse.
they must be in my top three bands, but i hadn't listened to them for months. immediately the chill of the first song, dramamine, filled the cold house, and i felt a little less lonely.
taking my book and coffee out to face the westerly sky, i tried to read, but the tunes and the frost brought me to the world - that quiet moment with modest mouse felt like a small resistance. i relaxed watching the sunrise from the opposite direction.
there's a paradox of feelings that rise when watching the sky lighten differently from the east. the dark blue of the sky lightens to steel grey, then a purple tinge appears halfway up. this morning it was all framed clearly by the moon.
from the moment i started this morning routine, i’ve fallen into habits of reflex - even putting on the music was reactive. it was nice to take a real break so early in the day. we all know the impulse to play a song just to feel less alone.
i don't know, maybe this sounds counterintuitive to trying not to be a prick, but maybe taking those moments to do nothing can help me to be less of a whirlwind in others' lives.