loneliness and bird songs
every morning i sit outside, drink a coffee, and read my book. every morning, the song of little birds - whose names i’ve forgotten - pierces the quiet and reaches my ears.
i had thought this post would be about me owning those bird songs. that they become mine the moment my eardrums register the vibrations in the air.
maybe i even believed that this centredness allowed me to be less self-centred.
but meditating afterward, i realised (or remembered) that i am full of emotions i don’t know how to feel. more to the point: i often don’t even realise i’m having them.
loneliness is probably the strongest. it covers me like a cheap ghost costume - muting me to the outside world - keeping me within myself.
i appreciate the melodies of the birds that somehow manage to reach me.