hush
you’ve often fantasized about losing your voice for a day - relying on action, not talk. no need to expend energy on something as pedestrian as speech.
today you rewatched the ‘buffy’ episode ‘hush’, where everyone loses the ability to speak. they rely on movement, gesture, effort. the silence clarifies what matters.
the day before began with back‑to‑back disruptions: an hour‑long impromptu meeting, then a 20‑minute phone call. by 9:30 you’d had enough. there was an important document to find - a perfect excuse to retreat.
in the archives, headphones on, files open, you slipped into deep focus. you felt alive. in control.
within ten minutes, a colleague found you. their problem took an hour to fix. by 3:30pm, after a riot of troubleshooting and wandering, you were free again.
you returned to the archives, earbuds ready, ‘tool’ cued - but an unfamiliar consultant had claimed the space. you glared and left.
not completely pissed - stoic lessons from ten years ago helped - you went back to your office, swung your legs on the desk, and blasted ‘tool’ into your ears. eyes closed, letting the lyrics penetrate.
when the next interruption came, you were centered enough to manage. and it was nearly time to leave.
an evening invite came through - it’d be nice to decompress with your friend. but half the town was there. you ended up speaking to a dozen people.
the irish exit at 8pm, and home. you put on ‘hush’ and fell asleep within minutes of them being silent. you never fall asleep during tv, but the quiet let you drift off.
it may be impractical not to speak aloud, but you do need to listen to that often-ignored voice deep in the center of your mind.