cactus needle
you know what. i’m tired of trying not to be a prick. i’m tired of making a conscious effort to be more humble, empathetic.
i’ve been on the ‘self-improvement’ train for ten years, been even more serious about it the last six months - especially trying to be more social - bar nights, small talk.
and i seriously don’t care about having a particular ‘blog style’ any longer.
i’m beyond caring what anyone thinks at this stage.
in trying not to be a prick, it became the same thing - an external locus - people‑pleasing
and what has that gotten me in terms of what i want from relationships - thin toffee - glossy, transparent, easily shattered.
from now on, i won’t give a shit about people’s opinions. i am done with performative ‘personal growth’ because ten years is enough, and if people don’t respect that, i really don’t care.
and from now on, i’ll write here what i want, how i want. no more ‘blocks’ because i’m stuck on a gimmick.
this would be the part where i wrap up nicely with the first paragraph